So cold cold cold

I saw this on someone else's blog, and decided to let you in on my own very secret beauty secrets.

A: WHAT ACCESSORIES DO YOU WEAR EVERYDAY?
-A gold ring my mom bought me in Jamaica that I picked out because the stones in it were very rastafarian-- mother of pearl, black onyx, yellow agate, some green stone (Maybe adventurine?) Most of the semi-precious stones have fallen out in my many escapades, but I still love it. It reminds me of a rough time that I overcame.

-My glasses, duh. Contacts if it's an extra extra special vanity necessary event.

B: WHAT IS YOUR BEAUTY ROUTINE?
Moisturize, moisturize, moisturize!! Oil of Olay Complete All Day UV Moisture Lotion, 'cause that's what my grandma uses and it contains an SPF 15. I use Maybelline Pure Makeup from Duane Reade as concealer when I need to cover up the circles under my eyes, and Make Up Forever Duo Mat Powder Foundation otherwise. I had a gift certificate to Sephora recently, and I got Laura Mercier Lip Stain in Scarlet that I've been obsessed with-- When not wearing that I'm a fan of Blistex, Lush's Lip Balm in Honey Trap, and Revlon Super Lustrous Creme Lipstick in Raisin Rage. I also wear tons of lotion, or my shit gets aaashy. I don't use this daily, but one of my fave skincare products is Buffy the Backside Slayer by Lush. It's for use on your bumpy, dry winter butt, but it's great for sloughing the dead skin off your whole bod. I also love Lush's products because they are handmade and organic. 

C: WHAT WAS THE LAST ITEM OF CLOTHING (FOR YOURSELF) THAT YOU PURCHASED?
I think it was a little babydoll dress I got on sale in Soho a few months ago. Hard times, folks!

D: DO YOU USE A DRESSER, CLOSET, OR BOTH?
I have an armoir, dresser, and 2 closets, and not a damn thing to wear!

E: WHAT TYPE OF EARRINGS ARE IN YOUR EARS RIGHT NOW?
None. 

F: WHAT TYPE OF FIGURE DO YOU HAVE (MEASUREMENTS)?
"When it comes to females, Cosmo ain't got nothin'
to do with my selection. 36-24-36? Ha ha, only if she's 5'3"

Pretty close to that.

G: DO YOU WEAR GLASSES?
Yup.

H: WHAT TYPE OF HANDBAG DO YOU CARRY?
God. I have the ugliest handbags. I really need a new one. It's embarrassing. Right now I've been carrying this weird patchwork leather thing. It's hideous. I just carry a lot of crap, so I need big grandma bags. 

I: WHAT IS YOUR IDEAL STYLE?
I've been trying to dress more like a grown up lately-- not sure if it's working. 

J: WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BRAND OF JEANS?
Um, my favorite jeans are actually from Old Navy 2 years ago. 

K: DO YOU WEAR KNEE-HI STOCKINGS?
I've always been a fan of dressing like a doll. I like thigh highs better.

L: DO YOU *HAVE* TO WEAR MATCHING LINGERIE?
Do period stained panties count as lingerie? KIDDING! I have some stuff that matches, but my undie drawer is a wreck. I kind of prefer the mismatched look. It makes me feel reckless and dirty. TMI?

M: DO YOU WEAR MAKEUP?
YEAH.

N: DO YOU WEAR NIGHTGOWNS?
I actually  have one nightgown, but if I'm wearing nightclothes, I prefer tap pants and tank tops, or my birthday suit.

O: WHAT OUTERWEAR DO YOU PUT ON WHEN GOING OUT ON A TYPICAL WINTER’S DAY?
A coat, a scarf, a hat, gloves, and headphones that are connected to an Ipod. 

P: WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PERFUME?
Too much perfume gives me headaches, but I have had a bottle of Jean Patou Enjoy Body Lotion that a friend gave me as a gift years ago that I dab on occasionally. 

Q: IS YOUR MOTTO “QUALITY OVER QUANTITY” WHEN IT COMES TO CLOTHING AND ACCESSORIES?
Definitely. I'd rather buy quality electronics, home, and food items over clothing though. 

R: DO YOU WEAR RAIN BOOTS?
No. I always tend to be wearing the worst possible shoes for walking on rainy days. I have some boots that are perfectly fine for puddle splashing, but aren't rubber galoshes. 

S: DO YOU WEAR SOCKS OR SLIPPERS WHEN YOUR FEET GET COLD?
I have more lounge wear than any person should. My favorites are a pair of old man slippers I won in a gag gift game.

T: DO YOU HAVE A SET OF TRAVEL LUGGAGE?
None of it matches, so I don't know if it can be called a "set" per se, but yes. 

U: WHAT IS YOUR DAILY UNIFORM?
I'm not a cartoon character! Who has a "daily uniform"?

V: IF YOU ARE MARRIED, DID YOU WEAR A VEIL WITH YOUR WEDDING DRESS?
Not married.

W: DO YOU WEAR A WATCH?
No.

X: WHAT ITEM OF CLOTHING ALWAYS MAKES YOU FEEL BEAUTIFUL?
Dresses. Fancy ones. And scarves. 

Y: WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE TYPE OF YARN?
Yarn? I don't knit.

Z: DO YOU PREFER ZIPPERS OR BUTTONS?
Buttons.  

There's Just No Kick With a Little Dick

There's spray-on hair, spray-on tans, spray-on stain remover-- now spray-on condoms??!

As a teenager, [Jan Vinzenz] Krause [designer of the Jolly Joe Spray-On Condom], now 30, had trouble finding the right size condom, which set him on a quest to aid other similarly befuddled young men. "They told me, 'Mr. Krause, I don't understand why the industry doesn't develop a condom which fits you perfectly,' " he says. Hence his idea for a spray-on condom. "The condom fits 100% perfectly, so the safety is much higher than a standard condom's, and it feels more natural." Krause says men are reluctant to go to a drugstore cashier with a box of small-size condoms — for obvious reasons. His solution: he plans to sell his new line of different-size condoms online. "Men on the Web," he says, "they are very honest."
-Callie LeFevre

http://www.time.com/time/business/article/0,8599,1832445,00.html?xid=newsletter-weekly

They do say it's the motion in the ocean, not the size of the dog in the fight, and good things come in small packages, right? I'm not really sure how you peel these suckers (Ew!) off, and I certainly wouldn't wanna suck on one, but I suppose a tiny dude spraying one on is better than having his Magnum slink off spraying baby juice. Just don't shoot your eye out, kid-- or SPRAY it out. OUCH!

Like Sugar To My Heart