LIFE the musical

If you know me, you have probably heard me say countless times, "Someone put this on a mixtape for me," or "I put this on a mix for someone once," with a weird dorky glimmer in my eye. I decided to put some songs on a mix for myself that I feel have defined me as a person and points in my life. Here's why:

http://thehistoryofmyfuture.muxtape.com/
http://thehistoryofmyfuture.muxtape.com/
http://thehistoryofmyfuture.muxtape.com/

(click song titles for videos too)

• Morphine- French Fries w/ Pepper- This song really doesn't have much to do with my life, except for the fact that I like it and the lyrics seemed like a good starting place for my childhood.
• The Only Ones- Another Girl, Another Planet- This was the first song I heard by the Only Ones. Rumored to be about drugs, my attachment has nothing to do with that. Oddly, I find strength in the destructive nature of this song. Plus, it's just an awesome song.
• Paul Simon- Graceland- Someone put this on a mixtape for me once. (Har har.) "There's a girl in New York City. She calls herself the human trampoline." Plus, as I mentioned before, I was conceived in Memphis. Duh. Totally my song. Maybe one day I'll go back to Graceland.
• The Jesus and Mary Chain- Sidewalking- I really wanted to use I Hate Rock and Roll, but I thought this was a good transitionary song into my dumb party period.
• The Cars- You Might Think- A friend of mine had this programmed into her phone so that it played when I called. We got into a lot of good-natured, totally dangerous trouble together. That period of my life was a rollercoaster, but I wouldn't have changed it at all. I was 21.
• Liz Phair- Supernova- Fave Lyrics: "Your lips are sweet and slippery like an angel's bare wet ass...You fuck like a volcano and you're everything to me." So woah-mantic! This goes out to all the boys I've loved before. WATCH THE VIDEO!
• Bob Dylan- Just Like A Woman-Self-explanatory and I feel geeky exposing the fact that I feel this way about myself, but whatevs.
• Lucinda Williams- Fruits of My Labor- One of my favorite songs ever recorded. I LUUUUV Lucinda. She's an amazing lady. I felt like this song once-- or like, 1000 times. One of the most beautiful pieces of lyrical imagery written, "Lemon trees don't make no sense. The branches bend as they fall to the ground."
• Neil Young- Walk On My best memory of this song is laying in the grass a couple years ago at some person's barbecue that I really didn't know taking sideways photos of my friend with her purse over her head (There were unmentionable reasons for this.) It was the middle of summer, and the breeze was perfect as Neil's sweet voice gave us both the best advice we could have heard at the time.
• Peggy Lee- I'm A Woman-This song is hot for various reasons. Listen to it.
• Pavement- Range Life-"You gotta pay your dues before you pay the rent...I want a range life. If I could settle down, then I would settle down." 'Nuff said, y'all. P.S. Stephen Malkmus is so damn cute.
• Cat Stevens- Wild World- My stepdad told me this was "my song" when I was 12. That's all. Yeah, baby, it is a wild world, man. (Also, Harold and Maude is my fave movie, which this particular song is not in, but you know-- Cat Stevens blah blah. Represent!)
  
  Songs that should have been on the mix, but wouldn't fit because MUXTAPE only allows 12:
  
  
  
  
  

Stay Loco

Being that it's May 5th, it is time for us all to settle down with a tall glass of tequila (okay, a margarita) and the fattest diarrhea-inducing burrito you can find in this city, and prepare to wake up on May 6th con dolor de cabeza y mucho gas en nos estomagos. Though we may be exclaiming, "¡AY! ¡MI!" in the morning, tonight is the night for us to pretend we give a shit about someone else's culture. Damn, I do love guacamole!

Cinco de Mayo is often mistaken for Mexico's independence day (which is actually on Sept 16), but in actuality it is the celebration of the victory of the Mexican forces over the French in 1862. (Yeah, I had to look up the year.) Though a festive holiday celebrated by food, drink, and dancing, it is only a regional one, and not celebrated all over the country.

It does give us Americans another reason to get hammered though (much like St. Patty's Day), so in honor of the day, we will celebrate with a moment of Liz Phair.


Also, here's how I celebrated May 5 last year. You'll recognize my signature eyebrows.


¡AY CARAMBA!

Decadent and Depraved

While Kentucky Derby 134 drew the second largest crowd in the history of the Derby to the grounds of Churchill Downs, we held our own modest celebration in my living room. Although sans gigantic crazy hats, we still partied on through "the most exciting 2 minutes in sports" with fresh mint juleps and chicken wings sure to please the snobbiest of Junior League ladies. (Okay, so maybe the chicken wings are more fitting for football, but they did the job.)

Traditional Mint Julep:

• 2 cups sugar
• 2 cups water
• Sprigs of fresh mint
• Crushed or Shaved Ice
• Kentucky Whiskey (We used Maker's Mark, but Early Times is the official whiskey of the Derby)

Make a simple syrup by boiling sugar and water together for five minutes. Cool and place in a covered container with six or eight sprigs of fresh mint. Make one julep at a time by filling a julep cup with crushed ice, adding one tablespoon mint syrup and two ounces of whiskey. Stir rapidly with a spoon to frost the outside of the cup. Garnish with a sprig of fresh mint.




Our picks!



NOT PICTURED: No.4 COURT VISION

And we won! Big Brown came in 1st. Unfortunately we only bet 2 bucks on it, but this didn't ruin our sense of pride. Coming in second was Eight Belles who sadly broke both ankles right as she crossed the finish line and had to be euthanized. I personally thought she could have been saved, but she would have never been able to race again rendering her useless to the rich derby folks. Hmph.



If that's not enough Derby action for you (I know it was a magical trip.), check out Hunter S. Thompson's 1970 essay on the event:
The Kentucky Derby is Decadent and Depraved

Give Them Back Their Drugs.

Startled awake by a nightmare, I lay in bed glancing around the room as the sun cast an amber glow through my curtains. I was too lazy to get up and check the time but I was still aware that it was early, so I fought the boogie man in my head and tried to get back to sleep. Just as I neared slumber, the shrill ring of my cell phone startled me awake again. It was H--, "Oh I woke you up, didn't I?"

"Um. Yeah. What time is it?"

"Like, uh 9:30am. I-just-left-that-peyote-ceremony-I'm-not-really-tripping-anymore-I-just-needed-to-talk-to-someone-OH-MY-GOD-It-was-nuts." She sped through the sentences like if she didn't tell me the night would have never happened.

"Peyote ceremony? Wha?" I was totally confused, a little annoyed because I wanted more sleep, but intrigued enough to listen.

So my friend ended up going to some wack "Navajo Peyote Ceremony" that ended up being a total cult experience. (NOT a real ceremony. The Native Americans who were there even told her that they had been paid to be there. This had nothing to do with the Native American church.) I am actually really interested in doing something like this, but I've always heard of it being done in the middle of the desert in Arizona. If it were in New York, perhaps upstate in the woods. IN NATURE, you know?? My friend spent the night in a yoga studio surrounded by freakazoids.

She took notes during the time she was there, which are just too hilarious not to share. So this goes out to you, H--. You know you love me. xoxo, Gossip Girl

I am typing what I wrote down into a notebook during this whole freakshow. I was only able to jot a few things down in the very beginning before "Manuel", the psychotic cult leader whose message is "you are special. we are a family", walked up to me and grabbed the pen and paper out of my hand. I was "on peyote" during this part...administered by the Native American Church unlike the crazy juice this freakshow produced later in the night. Anyway, the fact that I'm out of my mind on peyote in a room of strangers and can still see this so clearly is what's funny. (In case you weren't going to get it.) Also, I threw out "Gringos"...come on.


5/2/08 no idea what time it is

I ate a bunch of "medicine". All these people are nice and this is pleasant. I'm supposed to be "healing" and figuring out what I need to change within myself. This whole thing caters to deeply disturbed people. I know because I consider myself fucked...but now believe I am the most stable person here. Someone from CONNECTICUT just sang "Somewhere over the Rainbow", for fuck's sake. I mean, go for it, whatever makes you happy...but this is just silly. :)

p.s. I vomited profusely the moment I ended that. Eerie. The Gods think I'm an asshole??


part 2.

Everyone is having some sort of "spiritual awakening". Here is what I think:

The Native Americans running this shit are fucking rad. Funny and not taking it so seriously (because this CLEARLY is not a real peyote ceremony!). And anyway, dude, the last time this ceremony was to be taken seriously (insert witty comparison here)...fuck these gringos. I am going to pray..."learn how to pray" because I'm an asshole and could probably benefit from this bullshit.

p.s. How come no one else wants to write?! How is that possible???


part 3.

THE SPIRIT? I JUST FEEL LIKE I'M ON DRUGS, MAN. "I AM THE GOLDEN GOD!"


We had to kneel and the spirit dude flicks feathers on you. I had on a really short plaid dress and asked ____ if maybe it was hot? HAHA. Her reply: "NO ONE is on that wavelength. No one...but you."


Literally passing the peacepipe! THIS RULES!


These notes are making me feel shallow (or not?). must stop now.

"Manuel" got up out of nowhere and blessed me with a feather for a while. There are 50 people here loving this and he chose to bless the one cynic (sane person?). I looked at ____ when it was happening and she sort of smirked and rolled her eyes.

Manuel has a hot "companion"...threesome? JK!!! note to self: get laid.


Joining in consciousness with everyone else. No more of this funny shit I'm only writing so I can email it to people to make them laugh. If you are reading this, I bet it's because I emailed it to you. Sigh-so predictable.

OK - prayer and feeling the cosmic rhythms of my brothers and sisters to my right...I mean to the east. LOL!!!!


Is it that I'm too smart to participate in this loving, happy little ceremony? Again, I am into this only because the Native Americans are rad. Koali (head Native Am. dude) and I had a moment because I was cupping a cactus in my hands and laughing [sidenote: important thing to remember is how dead serious everyone else was]. We are maybe on the same wavelength: "Yes, this is a bunch of people on drugs.", but I think maybe he's just nice and thinks it's cute that I'm kind of a jerk.

Dude, he just said, "a fresh medicine always helps!" and started cracking the fuck up, COME ON.

I accepted something that looked like iced tea but is really some "grandmother drug" for "mind and emotion". FUCK! I do not need a drug to draw out my emotions. (written 100 times on a chalkboard.)

I think it's 5:30am.

I AM SPECIAL. WE ARE FAMILY. I AM SPECIAL. WE ARE--AHHH!

Have You Ever Really Loved Free Vodka?

Last night the BF and I attended the opening of Bryan Adams' (YES, Mr. Summer of '69) Hear The World Ambassadors Photo Exhibit. Hear the World is a global initiative raising awareness about the importance of good hearing and the impact of hearing loss, and the opening was also to celebrate the beginning of Better Hearing and Speech Month. ( Press Release)

BF and I knew no one there, except for Renee Zellweger and Lydia Hearst, but for some reason, they didn't recognize us. As if! Both ladies look like chihuahua/preying mantis love children. Scary! I actually didn't see Renee Z, but the BF filled me in. B. Adams did call me "sweetheart" (Cause you know-- I am.) and kissed me on the cheek though, and The Virgins played. I saw them last summer at an old church in the East Village, and wasn't impressed. Still not, but it made the whole experience more fun-- so did the free vodka.

As did the cameraphone. See below.

Adams in white.

The Virgins laying it down for us. Get it "lay"? Aw, nevermind.

Hear no evil, snort no evil.

Trying to get my nickle back from Chad Kroeger.

Can't you hear me licking?!

Too much booty in the pants for Moby?

Um. I like this picture of my shiny party feet.


Just for old times sake, for the best usage of masks in a video, and for the fact that Johnny Depp is a total stud.

Hunka Hunka Marital Bliss

Today would mark the 41st wedding anniversary of Elvis(RIP) and Priscilla Presley had they still been together. I've been a huge Elvis P. fan since I was a kid beginning from the first time I saw Blue Hawaii with my mom at age 4. I got word that the hunk-a-burnin' love on screen was no longer alive, and cried my eyes out through the rest of the movie. My obsession has dwindled somewhat, but I still showcase my velvet Elvis proudly in my living room, and stand by the fact that Elvis' live rendition of "If I Can Dream" from his '68 Comeback Special is one of the most powerful songs I've ever heard. I've never been to Graceland, but my mom claims I was conceived in Memphis, TN while my dad was taking a class there. Elvis lives as long as I do!

Elvis Presley "If I Could Dream" '68 Comeback Special




YOIKS!!

Obama and Indie Rock "Merge"

Oh, look what I found on productshopnyc today, Crack-a-lacka!


Senator Obama is getting some big indie-rock support from Arcade Fire and Superchunk, two bands that have pumped some decent dollars into the North Carolina economy via Merge Records. Here's the info.......
CHANGE ROCKS:
Early Vote Concerts with Arcade Fire and Superchunk
THURSDAY, MAY 1
Greensboro Coliseum Complex Pavilion Parking Lot(Rain site: Pavilion)1921 W Lee StreetGreensboro, NCGates open: 1:00 pmFor more information, call 336-332-0028 or visit www.nc.barackobama.com

Tickets are required. Tickets are free, but only one ticket may be picked up person. Space is limited and admission is on a first come, first serve basis. The show is for all ages.RSVP FOR TICKETS HERE

FRIDAY, MAY 2
Carrboro Town Commons301 W. Main StreetCarrboro, NCGates open: 1:00 pmFor more information, call 919-929-3460 or visit www.nc.barackobama.com* Parking is very limited, so walking, biking, taking public transit or car-pooling to the show are encouraged.