Saturday, June 14, 2008

Holy Mole-y!

R.KELLY WAS ACQUITTED YESTERDAY OF ALL 14 COUNTS OF CHILD PORNOGRAPHY! Yes, that's more charges than the age of the girl who he videotaped himself doing the nasty with-- I mean, who he didn't do it with! Right, right.


The case surrounds a 27-minute tape made 9 years ago of someone who resembles Kelly having sex with a young woman identified as a 14 year old girl. Though the victim, a daughter of a protege of Kelly, has denied her involvement in the video, 14 other witnesses have said otherwise. The prosecutors also spotted a dime-size mole on the back of the man in the video, which matches one that Kelly also has. This allegation was also denied, stating that the mark was the work of computer glitches or special effects. Interesting.

I don't want to hate on R. Kelly. I think he is hilarious, but I'd just like to have a moment of silence for his ex-wife, Aaliyah (*RIP*). The two were married when Kelly was 27 and Aaliyah was 15. It's possible that they didn't consummate the marriage (especially since she lied on the birth certificate stating she was 18), but I'm just curious as to who gave her the nickname, "Baby Girl".

Also, anyone remember that pesky child porn charge in Florida awhile back? The charges were dropped back then due to insuffucient search warrants!

Guess lightning does strike twice, and I bet R. really does believe he can fly after this one.

P.S. This is an amazing (and real) video (and shit).

3 comments:

hungry hearted said...

"girl i wish you would burn my clooooothes," surely the artful, well-chosen words of an innocent and mentally stable being.

Sybil said...

timbaland gave her the nickname "baby girl"

thehistoryofmyfuture said...

I know that, Sybil. Damn. Why you gotta be stomping on my jokes? Sheesh!