Friday, April 4, 2008

SMOKE the Fat

EXTRA! EXTRA! An appeals court has overturned class-action status for a lawsuit seeking $200 billion from tobacco companies for suggesting that light cigarettes might be less harmful than regular cigarettes. 04/04/08 NYT

I remember hearing about this awhile ago when folks were bitching and moaning that they were getting cancer from smoking light cigs just as fast as those smoking cowboy killer Reds, and they were just so f-ing surprised. Hmmmm.

Duh.

This reminds me of another stupid moment in history when Americans tried to blame large money hungry corporations for their bad health and worse choices. Let's revisit the case of Pelman v. McDonald's, the two little fatties from the Bronx who sued Micky D's, because they were stricken with "obesity, heart disease, diabetes, high blood pressure, and elevated cholesterol" at the tender ages of 19 and 14, only after gobbling Big Macs and McMuffins on a nearly daily basis. At 5'6" and 270 lbs, you would have thought the grease loving LEGAL ADULT would have connected unhealthiness to the extra-patty-lettuce-tomato-special-sauce-all-on-a-sesame-seed-bun goodness she was cramming into her face! Regardless of the density of this chick's skull, I suppose she can't be judged too harshly, as her father has been quoted, 'I always believed McDonald's was healthy for my children.' Yes sir, and so are hot pockets. And with that, we shall view Jim Gaffigan's amazing stand up about Hot Pockets.




Anyway, adding to the hilarity of this case, the Judge's last name happened to be Sweet (Just like a McFlurry!) and Judge Parfait-- I mean-- Sweet promptly tossed the case out of court quicker than a trip through the drive-thru.

Thank god our judicial system isn't completely fucked (I said, not COMPLETELY.)

No comments: